Friday, March 4, 2011

Day 63: Worst Night

Awful night.

Disobedient child.

Disappointed mother.

Worst start to a weekend ever.

Last normal weekend before everything changes.

Awful night.

I don't have the energy or the temperament to try and think of things that are positive right now. I am so completely broken in spirit when there is an episode like this with our oldest. She has such a rebellious streak. Sometimes the defiance against our authority and thus God's authority frightens me. Granted, for the most part she's a pretty good kiddo. But there are times when am brought to me knees in fear for the state of her heart. God hasn't saved her... yet. She doesn't belong to Jesus... yet. She refuses Him still. She believes, but there isn't repentance... yet.


God doesn't promise that the children of saved parents will be saved. He doesn't have grandchildren. My girl can't inherit Christ's covering of sins.

Whenever she acts out, when her sin is so apparent, I can't help but be fearful, fearful that she may not come to Christ. Just hitting the keys to type that out makes my heart grow faint within!

Oh Lord, please work in the heart of my little girl. Soften it and make it tender to Your Word.
May she be guilty of her sin and call out to Jesus, the ONLY way to salvation and the only way to life. Please, by the power of your Holy Spirit, move her towards You, draw her in.
May her greatest delight be in nothing compared to knowing You.
Pour Your grace out on my baby that she may be covered by Your righteousness.
This is my greatest heart's desire tonight.
Give me peace and trust in Your sovereignty over her life.

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