To understand where I'm coming from today, I have to share the background of what has been going on with our family. God has been weaving His grace through every fabric of our lives (whoa- Aaron Neville just popped into my head!).
The last few months we have been working on getting Haddon evaluated as he has a speech delay, and some issues understanding directions and certain words or concepts. Of course to get that help, he has had to go through one evaluation after another. We've been interviewed and had to really think about all the things that Haddon can and cannot do. It gets a little overwhelming and seems daunting at times.
He has now spent a little bit in a specialized preschool, where he goes two times a week and is supposed to get two sessions of speech therapy a month. Just a couple days ago, his teacher talked to me about possibly having our son evaluated for autism as she sees some signs and symptoms in him.
I listened to her, and although my head was spinning, I think I was understanding her and able to somewhat communicate effectively.
But as I drove away, the tears came down. I was dreading that someone would say the "a-word". Autism. It didn't seem to me that all the symptoms were there. That if he were to be evaluated as having autism that it may be a little early or that we would be jumping the gun a bit as he had just started in the school, and the teacher barely knows her.
Yesterday I processed all day. I was overwhelmed. At times I felt scared. I started to think about what I may have done wrong while I was pregnant with him. Time and time again, the Holy Spirit kept my spirit in check. Fear is merely disbelieve in God and His promises as set forth in His Word.
I thought about a couple months ago when we were at a church. It was the week that the senior pastor's father died, and he was taking the time to share about his father and the legacy that he had left. The pastor spoke of the times when they would have family devotions and prayer, how his father would call out, "Call to Arms!" And all the children would come running to hear their father read God's Word and pray.
That's what I needed to do yesterday. I e-mailed the ladies in my small group Bible study. I wrote to a dear friend in Colorado. I asked my mother-law to pray. I was calling the troops to arms.
When bad weather comes upon a ship, the Captain often orders for, "All Hands on Deck!" All the workmen of the ship will rush to the aid of the wave battered boat to assist in keep it afloat.
God called for His hands to be on deck for me. It was no mere coincidence that I got a note from a fellow member of my Bible study- a mother with a child with autism. It isn't chance that Haddon's speech therapist from Colorado wrote to me asking me how he was doing that very day- even though we had not heard from her in a year!
Yes, it's true. When the Captain, sees a storm brewing, He knows and provides that call for the battered ship. He moves. He calls. He prompts. "All hands on deck!"