Friday, June 3, 2011

Day 153: Here's to June

May has ended, and so has the time of my husband's book being the featured book with Cruciform Press. We have absolutely no idea how the book performed in sales, whether it was successful or a bit of a flop. We just don't know. All feedback has been positive. All reviews are positive.

It's an interesting thing, books are. You never know what book is going to take off and be a best seller, or if it will resonate with people or not. I'm really proud of my husband for having the courage to write something and put it out there for people to critic, read, review. I don't know if I would be brave enough to do that. I think about too many people reading even this, and it makes me feel a little shy.

"But God..." is a book that I want so many people to read. I just don't know how to get it into people's hands. Word of mouth is an obvious way, and I think the best way. We haven't told a lot of people, but any profit we make from book sales is going into a savings account for adoption. So that's pretty cool. We've been able to put about $100 towards saving. It's not much, but every little bit is exciting to me.

I'm not sure what all will happen in the coming months. We need to be in prayer about how God would have the book be used. We need to be in prayer about how Casey will be used in ministry and for doors to open for that. We need to be in prayer seeking wisdom in when and how to proceed with the adoption process. I don't know how all those things will affect the other or whether all those things will be separate or intertwined. I just don't know.

I kind of like not knowing though. I think things can often be better when we don't know. I think that God protects us and keeps us moving forward by not letting us know. It's like when a horse is blind-folded when it needs to be guided through a place that would frighten it; so does God with us. It's for our own peace of mind, allowing us to calmly proceed in faith of our guide instead of being distracted by what which frightens us.

The unknown has its own possible affect on us, and I don't deny that. It just seems that right now, the unknown it's very frightening. Knowing what is coming ahead might be. I don't know if that makes sense, but in whatever circumstances I do want to simply rest in my Good Shepherd to guide and protect me. He'll always look out for my best, and always do what is best.

I'm a little rambling today, but I think that's okay. I'm delighted in this journey that we have been on. It's been a up and down, easy and difficult, path that has kept me guessing and relying on God. That is a delightful thing. It's delightful because that's the safest place to be, and because he always proves himself faithful in his sovereignty and provision. My hope is that the ways in which I react to each twist and turn delights him. That's the whole point anyway. If I don't bring glory to my Guide, than the journey is for naught. The journey's not about me, but about how he's going to glorified in it, for my own benefit.

That is a long topic in and of itself. So I will stop there. Here's to June and whatever it may hold.

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