Today my daughter wanted a snack, and for some reason, a tortilla was going to hit her hunger spot. So I sent her off with a simple, cold tortilla, and what happened next was just sweet.
"Look Haddon. Here," Norah said as she handed the tortilla to her brother after taking a bite for herself.
Haddon bites. Norah bites. Haddon bites... and on it goes until the tortilla is consumed.
How nice it was to see big sister share with her little brother, and for little brother to not panic if something was taking away for big sister to have a turn.
Nibble by nibble, bite by bite, my children lived out sharing. It made me smile.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Fevers and Chills
Yesterday when we were walking out of church, I was telling my husband that I felt very achy, like when one is getting sick. What proceeded was a fever with a bad case of the chills. This lasted the whole night, and left me without much sleep.
So last night, my sweet husband put our children to bed, and while I was in bed shivering, he did the dishes that had piled up.
This morning, I got up for a bit, but just didn't feel well enough to stay up- so back to bed for me! And my husband continued to care for the kids, making them lunch, and providing what they needed, all the while working on an assignment that he has due for school.
When I got up in the early afternoon, feeling a little better, I came out into the living room, and my little boy came charging up to me. With a big smile on his face, he gave me a big hug, and laid his head on my shoulder. He missed his mom.
Today I am thankful that I have a husband who takes care of me and our children, and is diligent in his pursuit of finding a job. He has hit the ground running since being relieved of his pastoral ministry, and I am grateful that he feels the weight of being a provider. I know that the Lord will bless his efforts in His timing.
I am also grateful that I have a little boy who missed me, and although he cannot speak, he showed me the best way that he could that his mom was missed. His hug meant a lot to me.
And of course I'm also grateful that the shaking, feverish, chills are gone, and now I can work feverishly on getting things done that I need to!
So last night, my sweet husband put our children to bed, and while I was in bed shivering, he did the dishes that had piled up.
This morning, I got up for a bit, but just didn't feel well enough to stay up- so back to bed for me! And my husband continued to care for the kids, making them lunch, and providing what they needed, all the while working on an assignment that he has due for school.
When I got up in the early afternoon, feeling a little better, I came out into the living room, and my little boy came charging up to me. With a big smile on his face, he gave me a big hug, and laid his head on my shoulder. He missed his mom.
Today I am thankful that I have a husband who takes care of me and our children, and is diligent in his pursuit of finding a job. He has hit the ground running since being relieved of his pastoral ministry, and I am grateful that he feels the weight of being a provider. I know that the Lord will bless his efforts in His timing.
I am also grateful that I have a little boy who missed me, and although he cannot speak, he showed me the best way that he could that his mom was missed. His hug meant a lot to me.
And of course I'm also grateful that the shaking, feverish, chills are gone, and now I can work feverishly on getting things done that I need to!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sources of Encouragement
Recently our family has been blessed with a change of circumstances. And in light of that change, we are filled with hope to see how the Lord will provide. In a similar circumstance we were able to see how God perfectly provided. But in the midst of searching for a new job, deciding when to put our home up for sale, and praying for guidance for for quick resolution to questions and problems that arise after being let go from a position, there is a lot of sadness.
We're sad that things did not work out in Colorado. We're sad to leave students and other people that we've poured our hearts into. And sometimes we wonder if the manner in which the relationship between ourselves and the church ended, would diminish the work God has blessed us to do.
But then both my husband and I were encouraged in many different ways.
First, the last thing that my husband cleared out of his office were some random books that were in the top of a closet. Under one of those books was a pile of pictures. He said that he thinks that the pictures were just put there when he moved into the office two years ago. He hadn't seen them or thought of them since. In that little pile of pictures were memories of a River Cats game that we took youth to when we ministered in Woodland, California. Another picture showed my husband with two of the boys from Woodland at a winter camp that my husband was the speaker for. And he was reminded of what a flourishing and beautiful ministry we were blessed with there, and that God used us there.
Yesterday I also had written to one of those girls that we were able to minister to in Woodland. I let her know what had happened, and she responded by telling me that she was really sad for what had recently happened. She expressed her hope that our experience here in Colorado wouldn't deter us from continuing in the ministry.
God graced my husband and I both yesterday by reminding us of our calling to minister to the church (my husband as a pastor and me as his supporter and partner). At a time when we could easily become discouraged and even tempted to give up on that calling, the Lord used his people to remind us that we are loved and that we are equipped with the grace of God to serve the church.
One of the main difficulties my husband has faced, and what has lead to our ultimate departure was a difference in opinion over how to grow a youth ministry. Activities was the answer of church leadership. Faithful preaching and teaching of God's word was my husband's. We didn't see the numbers grow, and so it was perceived that my husband was not doing his job.
Looking at the pictures from Woodland, and reading a note from a student from that ministry, along with keeping in touch with those students who have moved on out of high school and into college, has been incredibly encouraging to us. The proof is in the pudding, so they say, and those that came out of our ministry in Woodland are discerning, not being swept away or caught up in the latest trends of the post-modern church. They hold a high priority on the Word and hold that as truth over all else, and they are living lives that are shining lights for the gospel wherever they go.
Their faithful lives are a gift of grace on us as we look to what God would have us do next. I am so grateful for God's faithfulness in using broken vessels like myself and my husband to bring Him glory.
Beyond the encouragement from our past in Woodland, my husband got a call from a friend that he had not spoken to in a long time. That friend prayed for Casey over the phone. I have received messages from current members of the church we just left, as well as old friends that I have known for years. Even as the news of our departure is being spread in town, we are getting calls from parents or youth workers that we were close to, expressing their sadness and offering well wishes.
God is good to use his people in that way.
We're sad that things did not work out in Colorado. We're sad to leave students and other people that we've poured our hearts into. And sometimes we wonder if the manner in which the relationship between ourselves and the church ended, would diminish the work God has blessed us to do.
But then both my husband and I were encouraged in many different ways.
First, the last thing that my husband cleared out of his office were some random books that were in the top of a closet. Under one of those books was a pile of pictures. He said that he thinks that the pictures were just put there when he moved into the office two years ago. He hadn't seen them or thought of them since. In that little pile of pictures were memories of a River Cats game that we took youth to when we ministered in Woodland, California. Another picture showed my husband with two of the boys from Woodland at a winter camp that my husband was the speaker for. And he was reminded of what a flourishing and beautiful ministry we were blessed with there, and that God used us there.
Yesterday I also had written to one of those girls that we were able to minister to in Woodland. I let her know what had happened, and she responded by telling me that she was really sad for what had recently happened. She expressed her hope that our experience here in Colorado wouldn't deter us from continuing in the ministry.
God graced my husband and I both yesterday by reminding us of our calling to minister to the church (my husband as a pastor and me as his supporter and partner). At a time when we could easily become discouraged and even tempted to give up on that calling, the Lord used his people to remind us that we are loved and that we are equipped with the grace of God to serve the church.
One of the main difficulties my husband has faced, and what has lead to our ultimate departure was a difference in opinion over how to grow a youth ministry. Activities was the answer of church leadership. Faithful preaching and teaching of God's word was my husband's. We didn't see the numbers grow, and so it was perceived that my husband was not doing his job.
Looking at the pictures from Woodland, and reading a note from a student from that ministry, along with keeping in touch with those students who have moved on out of high school and into college, has been incredibly encouraging to us. The proof is in the pudding, so they say, and those that came out of our ministry in Woodland are discerning, not being swept away or caught up in the latest trends of the post-modern church. They hold a high priority on the Word and hold that as truth over all else, and they are living lives that are shining lights for the gospel wherever they go.
Their faithful lives are a gift of grace on us as we look to what God would have us do next. I am so grateful for God's faithfulness in using broken vessels like myself and my husband to bring Him glory.
Beyond the encouragement from our past in Woodland, my husband got a call from a friend that he had not spoken to in a long time. That friend prayed for Casey over the phone. I have received messages from current members of the church we just left, as well as old friends that I have known for years. Even as the news of our departure is being spread in town, we are getting calls from parents or youth workers that we were close to, expressing their sadness and offering well wishes.
God is good to use his people in that way.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Maker of the Hills
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
Psalm 121
The opening verses of this psalm came to mind the other day as I was walking to get the mail. Living in Colorado, on the western slope, we are surrounded by hills and mountains. To the north of us we can see the Bookcliffs, with Mt. Garfield on the end. To the east we can see the Grand Mesa, which is so tall that it eclipses the mighty Rockies on the other side. And to the west we see the burnt orange rock of the Redlands with the Colorado National Monument. When I looked up at these hills and mountains I couldn't help but think about where my help comes from. The Maker of the mountains, the Painter of the rocks and the Sculptor of the hills is my stronghold.
What a beautiful reminder that the mighty mountains have their strength from my mighty God. When the ground I stand on seems to shift and I feel as though I am in sinking sand, I know that there is a Solid Rock on which I can stand.
What a privilege it is to know that when I need help, it comes not from my own wisdom or on the other side of worrying or fretting. It comes from the LORD- Yahweh- Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let me slip or fall. He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Balloons, Bread Baking and Boots
Yesterday we made yet another trip to the store, but this time it was a classic trip. The grocery list: milk, eggs, cheese, flour and bread. We finished our shopping, checked out, and were walking out, and Norah decided that she just had to go to the McDonald's in the grocery store. Her request was denied, and the start of a loud protest began.
Upon exiting the store, we saw that it was "Fill the Boot" time for our local fire department. One of the officers saw my disgruntled daughter and gave her a handful of balloons to blow up and some stickers.
Mood change.
When we arrived home I realized that we had forgotten bread. So rather than go back to the store, I figured that I would just make some.
So after blowing up a couple balloons, I began making homemade bread. The balloons occupied the kids for most of the time, and because I actually remembered the flour that we needed, I was able to bake bread despite forgetting the needed item.
What a blessing it was for the kind-hearted firefighter to give balloons to my grumpy child, halting her fit and allowing for entertainment for both brother and sister to enjoy while mommy baked! And just think, if I hadn't forgotten bread, then we wouldn't have the fresh, homemade bread that we enjoy right now.
Upon exiting the store, we saw that it was "Fill the Boot" time for our local fire department. One of the officers saw my disgruntled daughter and gave her a handful of balloons to blow up and some stickers.
Mood change.
When we arrived home I realized that we had forgotten bread. So rather than go back to the store, I figured that I would just make some.
So after blowing up a couple balloons, I began making homemade bread. The balloons occupied the kids for most of the time, and because I actually remembered the flour that we needed, I was able to bake bread despite forgetting the needed item.
What a blessing it was for the kind-hearted firefighter to give balloons to my grumpy child, halting her fit and allowing for entertainment for both brother and sister to enjoy while mommy baked! And just think, if I hadn't forgotten bread, then we wouldn't have the fresh, homemade bread that we enjoy right now.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Legend of Karen Fields
On April 15, 1981 I took the most significant car ride of my life. An attorney drove me from Forest Grove, Oregon to Salem, Oregon, delivering me from the arms of one unknown woman into the arms of a woman who would be known to me as mommy.
When I was handed to Karen Fields, legend has it (according to my grandmother), the first thing she said was, "Mom, isn't she beautiful?" And there I was. God had directed one woman to choose life when the highest courts of the United States had deemed it legal for her to make a medical choice about her unplanned pregnancy.
Grace covers the beginning of my relationship and permeates it throughout.
One thing that I associate most with my mother is the selflessness she demonstrated as a true hallmark of motherhood. When I was little, she stayed home, a sacrifice not readily made by many. She demonstrated to me that my sister and I were always a priority over any personal dreams or goals she may have had outside the home. She didn't buy things for herself, and admits even today that she feels guilty sometimes for buying something for herself! She has conditioned her heart and mind to always be last- putting her children and grandchildren first.
My mother never allowed any shadow of doubt to be cast about the priority of motherhood. She worked only when she had to, and even then strove to be home as much as possible to provide stability when our family was broken by divorce. No one else had to take me to doctor appointments, or come to my sports events because my mom was always there. Being an involved presence as a mother was never compromised by outside factors.
This stamp was pressed hard into my life, and as I grew up learning more of God's Word, the example that she demonstrated of the mother busy at home was solidified as truth.
Now it is a joy to follow in my mother's footsteps as a stay-at-home mom, focused on the daunting task of raising godly children and being obedient to the call of motherhood that God has placed on my life. She had left a solid legacy that I am proud to follow as I strive to sacrifice self and all that entails from the new clothes, to outside-the-home aspirations.
So thank you, mom. Thank you for being an instrument of grace. Your selflessness as a mother has set the tone for God's Word to captivate my conscience, and for me to follow your example in prioritising family over self. That grace flows through the Lute home as everyday grace from above, as Norah and Haddon learn and grow.
When I was handed to Karen Fields, legend has it (according to my grandmother), the first thing she said was, "Mom, isn't she beautiful?" And there I was. God had directed one woman to choose life when the highest courts of the United States had deemed it legal for her to make a medical choice about her unplanned pregnancy.
Grace covers the beginning of my relationship and permeates it throughout.
One thing that I associate most with my mother is the selflessness she demonstrated as a true hallmark of motherhood. When I was little, she stayed home, a sacrifice not readily made by many. She demonstrated to me that my sister and I were always a priority over any personal dreams or goals she may have had outside the home. She didn't buy things for herself, and admits even today that she feels guilty sometimes for buying something for herself! She has conditioned her heart and mind to always be last- putting her children and grandchildren first.
My mother never allowed any shadow of doubt to be cast about the priority of motherhood. She worked only when she had to, and even then strove to be home as much as possible to provide stability when our family was broken by divorce. No one else had to take me to doctor appointments, or come to my sports events because my mom was always there. Being an involved presence as a mother was never compromised by outside factors.
This stamp was pressed hard into my life, and as I grew up learning more of God's Word, the example that she demonstrated of the mother busy at home was solidified as truth.
Now it is a joy to follow in my mother's footsteps as a stay-at-home mom, focused on the daunting task of raising godly children and being obedient to the call of motherhood that God has placed on my life. She had left a solid legacy that I am proud to follow as I strive to sacrifice self and all that entails from the new clothes, to outside-the-home aspirations.
So thank you, mom. Thank you for being an instrument of grace. Your selflessness as a mother has set the tone for God's Word to captivate my conscience, and for me to follow your example in prioritising family over self. That grace flows through the Lute home as everyday grace from above, as Norah and Haddon learn and grow.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
$30 and Gold 'n' Soft
With the economy the way it is, and with no end in near sight, I know that many can relate to making every dollar stretch- especially grocery money! So when we found ourselves really strapped when it came to our grocery budget this month, it made me feel a little discouraged. Knowing that the Lord would provide what we need, and looking at the numbers is sometimes hard to reconcile!
To add to the pressure of money, was a looming need for Haddon to have some braces to straighten his feet (they are turning in and require some correction). I was preparing to make a phone call to our medical insurance to ask a couple questions, and as I looked for his insurance card- there it was: thirty dollars! I was already planning on going to the grocery store that day and was dreading it a bit, but the thirty dollars made me feel a little better.
At the grocery store we had just finished. But as we were heading to the checkout, of course that's when I remember that we needed more margarine. Margarine is in the back of the store- so off we went! I'm looking at the shelves of dairy products in front of me, and then I see it: Gold 'n' Soft.
Gold 'n' Soft is a margarine that I grew up using. My husband grew up on it, and his parents continue to buy it. It is cheap, melts well, and tastes good. Having lived in another state on a couple different occasions, I have experienced that Gold 'n' Soft is hard to find. Never did I find it in California. Only one or two other times have I seen it here in Colorado, but that day the butter/margarine section was full of Gold 'n' Soft!
I couldn't help but say with surprise in my voice, "Gold 'n' Soft!" as I reached for a couple tubs. It was a piece of home, in a way. Sometimes we miss being closer to family. Two Christmases in a row have been spent apart from loved ones, and it has been over a year since my husband has been able to see all of his family. We have a new nephew that was born three months ago, and Casey won't be able to see him for quite a bit. We have another niece or nephew that will be born next month, and we're not sure when we will get to meet him or her. Maybe a certain type of margarine isn't a big deal, but sometimes it can be a little piece of home.
And that's what it was for me that day. I little bit of everyday grace from above. How grateful I am for being worth more than lilies and birds, and for receiving gifts of grace.
To add to the pressure of money, was a looming need for Haddon to have some braces to straighten his feet (they are turning in and require some correction). I was preparing to make a phone call to our medical insurance to ask a couple questions, and as I looked for his insurance card- there it was: thirty dollars! I was already planning on going to the grocery store that day and was dreading it a bit, but the thirty dollars made me feel a little better.
At the grocery store we had just finished. But as we were heading to the checkout, of course that's when I remember that we needed more margarine. Margarine is in the back of the store- so off we went! I'm looking at the shelves of dairy products in front of me, and then I see it: Gold 'n' Soft.
Gold 'n' Soft is a margarine that I grew up using. My husband grew up on it, and his parents continue to buy it. It is cheap, melts well, and tastes good. Having lived in another state on a couple different occasions, I have experienced that Gold 'n' Soft is hard to find. Never did I find it in California. Only one or two other times have I seen it here in Colorado, but that day the butter/margarine section was full of Gold 'n' Soft!
I couldn't help but say with surprise in my voice, "Gold 'n' Soft!" as I reached for a couple tubs. It was a piece of home, in a way. Sometimes we miss being closer to family. Two Christmases in a row have been spent apart from loved ones, and it has been over a year since my husband has been able to see all of his family. We have a new nephew that was born three months ago, and Casey won't be able to see him for quite a bit. We have another niece or nephew that will be born next month, and we're not sure when we will get to meet him or her. Maybe a certain type of margarine isn't a big deal, but sometimes it can be a little piece of home.
And that's what it was for me that day. I little bit of everyday grace from above. How grateful I am for being worth more than lilies and birds, and for receiving gifts of grace.
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