I've wept. I've been angry. I've been exhausted and tried. I've prayed. I've whined.
You name it, and I've probably felt it this week. Between, hearing my work news, to being provided for, to being excited about picking up the kitten, there's just been a gamut of emotions. On top of all these things, it's been a crummy mom week.
I have been dealing with whining, disobedience, angry outbursts, and sassing. It has come from both children, and my oldest has been leading the charge.
Tonight, the camel's back broke. I calmly, after being sassed at bedtime, told my firstborn to go to the kitchen and wait for me. Leaving my son in his top bunk, I entered the kitchen and brought out the Tabasco. She had talked disrespectfully too much. I needed a strong object lesson.
Judge me if you will. I had to do something, and since this was the most calm and humane thing I could think of, this is what I chose.
As I put the Tabasco on the spoon, I prayed that it wouldn't hurt my daughter, that she wouldn't throw up or that she wouldn't hate me forever for using this punishment. I prayed for the Lord to give me words to speak to her as to why I was giving her the hot sauce and why her behavior not only deserved it, but why it was not to continue.
Well, she almost threw up, and she cried. She thought I was mean, but the lesson sunk in. I told my daughter, my precious daughter that as much as she doesn't like the Tabasco, that's how much I don't like being spoken to in the way that she had, and it's how much it hurts God when He sees that kind of behavior.
It was a powerful object lesson.
I have no idea if it will be remembered tomorrow, but I do know that tonight she hasn't disobeyed since. I do know that it made an impression, and that I cannot and will not have another week like this last week. I will lose my mind if I have another week like this last week.
Lord, please don't let this week be like last week.
It's a simple prayer, and I need you to fill in the rest because I am tired.
I just want to be a mom that promotes peace and honors you in raising my children.
I don't deserve them,
but in your wisdom, you gave them to me.
And I know that if you gave them to me,
then you will give me the wisdom to raise them to your glory.
I'm counting on that this week.