Harder

Today is Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Then it is Thursday.

I have been thinking about Thursday for a while. Thursday was supposed to happen two months ago, and it has to happen now instead.

Thursday is a day that I am reluctant about, and yet think it's time to do. Thursday was pushed on me, and I resisted. Then we decided that Thursday would happen in our own way.

As Thursday comes, I'm having a harder time with it than I thought I would. I'm pretty emotional.

So what is Thursday?

Early that morning we will take our sweet boy up to Portland and have a three-hour evaluation. People who don't know him are going to try and interact with him and help him play "games" and see if he shows true symptoms of autism. They are, hopefully, going to listen to us and take our observations into account. They are going to read what others have written, and then talk with us about what they think- because they are supposed to be experts.

Thursday has been played down in my mind, but really, now that it's close, I'm feeling like it's kind of big. I don't want our boy labeled with something that is inaccurate.

I love our son just the way he is.

I love our son too much to not help him grow as I know he can.

So Thursday is close. I'm nervous. It's a bit harder than I expected.

But God has already ordained Thursday. He's ordained all who our son is and all that he will be. So as hard as it is to face Thursday, it won't be as hard as it would be if I didn't know the Solid Rock that is harder than any Thursday.