The Glory of Green

Living in Oregon has an advantage that none can deny. It is green. In fact, it is so green that we hardly notice how green it is, but today I noticed.

I was on my way home from running around with my daughter, and just was distracted. I ended up not turning where I was supposed to to loop back around to our home, and instead, began down the road towards my in-laws' home in the woods.

After getting irritated with myself, and turning around to get back on course, I was struck by the sheer beauty of the forest not 2 miles from our home.

It was green. It was an electrifying green. It was so green with the new leaves of spring that my breath was taken away and the irritation of having to turn around melted in the cool warmth of the shades and hues of growing things. I was so taken aback by how green and bright it all was!

And in that moment, my heart filled with praise. Our Creator made such loveliness, and it is only a glimpse of His beauty, His holiness, and His power.

There is nothing in the theory of evolution that accounts for such beauty. Beauty is not functional. Beauty isn't necessary for survival. Beauty is simply the revelation of God. For nothing is beautiful unless it holds the attributes of the Maker of beauty, and that is simply a gift of grace. Being able to see something beautiful, is being able to see a glimpse of God. And being able to see God gives us the greatest joy. Being able to experience joy in beauty is a gift. Being given a gift unearned is grace.

Isn't that glorious?!

Read Psalm 96

Eye Love...

... how the Lord cares and provides for me beyond what I even need.

I've been at my new job at LensCrafters for about two months now. I am learning more and more all the time, and getting to know my co-workers better and better. Being there is a greater blessing than I even thought it would be, and the anxiety that I had over accepting the position seems silly now. God has had a hand in every step in the transition from The Children's Place to LensCrafters. And I am so humbled and grateful for how He has been at work.

Before the new year began, I went into the store to help my mom pick out her first pair of "all the time" glasses. We were helped by the store manager, and I was pleased to get to catch up with an old high school chum. As I chatted with him and helped my mother decide on lenses, the Lord was laying groundwork for a plan for a new phase for me and my family.

I had become increasingly discouraged with the hours I was working at The Children's Place, and equally discouraged with the amount of time that I was away from my children and how much that I was getting back for my time. I wasn't complaining (well, not too much), and I was so thankful for the job that I had as the Lord provided it for our family so wonderfully. But it was beginning to wear on me.

Weeks went by, and out of the blue, I had a message from my high school friend. "My boss liked you, want a job," was the title. As I read, I was very surprised to learn that there was interest in me applying to work at LensCrafters. I went in, picked up an application, and the rest is history.

I cannot deny the hand of Providence in this. I work a more consistent number of hours, make more money, and get off in the evening much earlier than I did before. I feel that my time away from my children is more "worth it" as I can earn more by meeting personal goals and working as a member of a team to meet store goals.

There is a lot to learn (and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT), and that is always a good thing (because I think learning is good). I also now I have a job where I get to help people every time I am there. I am helping people see better and look better. I feel good about sharing the products we offer at LensCrafters because there is not another store that I will go to for my own glasses. That in and of itself, is important to me.

Of course I wish that I could just be at home all the time now, but I know that this is just a season as Casey finishes school, and like so many, have had to "do what we have to do" to make ends meet.

I'm just so grateful that the Lord saw fit to offer such grace to me as I try to do my best to care for my family and balance that with needing to be in the workplace. He moved hearts to think of me and take action. He opened up my own heart to step out in faith and accept a position where I didn't know anyone but one person that I really hadn't spoken to in eleven years. He eased my discouragement by putting me in a place that is so much better for everyone in my family. He has even allowed me to stay on at The Children's Place and change out the window displays. This keeps the merchandise discount, which we use, and keeps the connections with the people that I dearly love in that store.

So yeah, eye I love how the Lord cares and provides for me beyond what I even need!

Not Me! Monday: Hard-to-Handle Hosiery

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!, a blog carnival created by MckMama. If you visit her blog, you can see what others are NOT doing. This is a chance to laugh at yourself and with others over those things that we wish never happened....

Enjoy.

Most people can relate to beginning a new job and wanting to do well and make a good impression on your co-workers and boss. Well, this last week, I'm not too sure how I did:

Since the sun was breaking through the usually cloudy days in Oregon, I thought that it would be delightful to wear a dress to work. So off I went in a work-appropriate attire, but as I walked in the the store, I noticed that my thigh-high pantyhose were not behaving. With each step, I could feel that I was in for a battle.

That day I was expecting my mother to visit me at work, so I certainly was not staring out the large glass windows looking for her to the point that I was barely paying attention to what was going on in the actual store. I certainly was not panicked or preoccupied with the idea of my stockings falling down. Not Me!

I did not walk around the store gingerly, hoping that it might prevent... uh.... slippage. Nor did a constantly tug up on the slippery stockings as a walked around helping and checking in with customers. Not Me!

I did not hide behind the counter to hike up said pantyhose, trying to avoid being seen by employees and customers. I did not fearfully wait on several people in a row, just hoping that I wouldn't have to walk much. Not Me!

When my mother did finally show up, I did not beg her to go next door to Target and purchase regular pantyhose for me. After returning with the pantyhose, I was not so busy with customers that my mother LEFT WITH THE SAVING PANTYHOSE! And I absolutely didn't reveal to my current customer my problem, hand her over to my associate, take one last trip behind the counter to "get everything nice and high", and nearly sprint out the door to find my mother. Oh no. I'm not that pathetic. Certainly Not Me!

By the way, my new male manager that I would like to make a good impression on, wasn't looking at me weird either. So that's good.

By the time I got to the fabric store, the stupid pantyhose were certainly not down to my ankles. And thank goodness I didn't have to hide behind a giant fabric bin to "get everything nice and high" again. That would be ridiculous, and Not Me!

Walking briskly back to the store, I certainly didn't have my pantyhose nearly fall beneath my knees again before I could make it to the bathroom and change. I didn't get confused glances from the girls at the reception desk of the doctor's office either. Nope, Not Me!

Upon returning to work, it was nice to see that my customer "in the know," wasn't laughing or entertained at all by my calamity.

*Sigh* Oh well, at least that was NOT ME!

I Had a Conversation with Haddon

The title says it, really. My son had a conversation with me. For most parents, talking with their child is just something that happens naturally and at a regular time in their development. It's something that flows with time, and it's hardly anything to note because it's just normal. I know. I have one child that I talk with and have talked with for years now. She has opinions that she expresses verbally, and questions, requests, and observations.

But not my son.

My son points. My son says words that take me asking him to repeat several times before I understand. My son is more of a mystery. I don't know what my son is thinking or feeling. I have to guess a lot.

Today, I talked with my son. He pointed some, repeated words after me, and said things on his own.

He asked for juice, both with his words and actions. He clarified which beverage he wanted. He encouraged me by telling me "good job" when I got the correct drink for him. And he said "thank you."

It's not a new interaction, and it still has much room to grow. I'll take it though. I talked with my son.

I love my son.

Enough in the New

Just because this blog was silent for over a month, doesn't mean that the grace has stopped.

- Haddon continues to speak more and more. His teacher nearly always has positive reports for his days in preschool, and the concerns that she has brought up are being resolved as he gets more comfortable with her and his classmates.

- Working has been a challenge, but has allowed me to be in the "world" a little more and be a testitmony to God's great love and grace. I hope that I am given more and more opportunities to share the truth in love and gentleness.

- Our needs are always met. Casey's job continues to be difficult for him, and he longs for a better opportunity to use his skills and better provide for us. But in this season, he has been in a position to work on his schooling and make steps towards his educational goals. Other jobs may not provide that chance.

- We have been able to watch a journey towards adoption begin for my sister's family, and seeing that waiting list number get smaller and smaller.

- I have been helping my grandmother with her finances, as she has built up quite a lot of consumer debt. Within the last few months, I've been able to reduce it to the point where this month she will be making the final payment to start 2010 debt-free! This is a tremendous blessing to me, as it has ben a 5-year journey that we have shared.

- Norah is becoming an intelligent and funny little girl, who, though she has her moments, gives us such joy and laughter. I look forward to seeing how she will grow in wisdom and in the Word over the coming years.

- My brother-in-law, who was mostly unemployed for a year and had to be stay-at-home dad to his sweet little girl, while his wife had to provide, got a job in the last few months. Now, mommy's home with little Isla, and daddy is in the workplace where he belongs!

So, I don't know what this new year holds except a few things:
1. A nephew will join our family in February. (Congrats to Tyler and Candace)
2. A niece will join our family from Ethiopia, and is most likely already growing in her birth mother's womb.(Congrats to The Stutzmans)
3. Another niece or nephew will enter our family in the summer. (Congrats to Kyle and Kari)
4. Prayerfully Casey will complete his Masters Degree, but even if he doesn't, he'll get closer.
5. God will be at work, still seated on the throne.

That's enough.

All Hands on Deck!

To understand where I'm coming from today, I have to share the background of what has been going on with our family. God has been weaving His grace through every fabric of our lives (whoa- Aaron Neville just popped into my head!).



The last few months we have been working on getting Haddon evaluated as he has a speech delay, and some issues understanding directions and certain words or concepts. Of course to get that help, he has had to go through one evaluation after another. We've been interviewed and had to really think about all the things that Haddon can and cannot do. It gets a little overwhelming and seems daunting at times.



He has now spent a little bit in a specialized preschool, where he goes two times a week and is supposed to get two sessions of speech therapy a month. Just a couple days ago, his teacher talked to me about possibly having our son evaluated for autism as she sees some signs and symptoms in him.



I listened to her, and although my head was spinning, I think I was understanding her and able to somewhat communicate effectively.



But as I drove away, the tears came down. I was dreading that someone would say the "a-word". Autism. It didn't seem to me that all the symptoms were there. That if he were to be evaluated as having autism that it may be a little early or that we would be jumping the gun a bit as he had just started in the school, and the teacher barely knows her.



Yesterday I processed all day. I was overwhelmed. At times I felt scared. I started to think about what I may have done wrong while I was pregnant with him. Time and time again, the Holy Spirit kept my spirit in check. Fear is merely disbelieve in God and His promises as set forth in His Word.



I thought about a couple months ago when we were at a church. It was the week that the senior pastor's father died, and he was taking the time to share about his father and the legacy that he had left. The pastor spoke of the times when they would have family devotions and prayer, how his father would call out, "Call to Arms!" And all the children would come running to hear their father read God's Word and pray.



That's what I needed to do yesterday. I e-mailed the ladies in my small group Bible study. I wrote to a dear friend in Colorado. I asked my mother-law to pray. I was calling the troops to arms.

When bad weather comes upon a ship, the Captain often orders for, "All Hands on Deck!" All the workmen of the ship will rush to the aid of the wave battered boat to assist in keep it afloat.

God called for His hands to be on deck for me. It was no mere coincidence that I got a note from a fellow member of my Bible study- a mother with a child with autism. It isn't chance that Haddon's speech therapist from Colorado wrote to me asking me how he was doing that very day- even though we had not heard from her in a year!

Yes, it's true. When the Captain, sees a storm brewing, He knows and provides that call for the battered ship. He moves. He calls. He prompts. "All hands on deck!"

Getting It

This is a conversation that I had with Norah last night after having a less-than-perfect good night experience.

Norah: "Good night mom."
Me: "Good night, Norah."
(Hug)
Norah: "Mom, I'm sorry I threw a fit."
Me: "I'm sorry I got angry."
(Another hug, and then a pause while Norah is thinking.)
Norah: "I guess we both sinned, huh?"
Me: "Yeah, we did."

She's getting it.