Monday, June 22, 2009

Not Me! Monday: A Restaurant Tale

Welcome to another installment of Not Me! Monday where I admit the shortcomings in my life and live to tell about it for the laughter of others. This carnival blog was started by MckMama, and you can visit her blog to see what others aren't doing.

Yesterday was Father's Day, and what better way to celebrate dad than not having to cook for him?! So out we went, to Red Robin to be exact, and there the following did not happen.

Thinking it most prudent to strap our youngest down, we requested a booster seat, and he certainly didn't howl very loudly at the idea upon being seated in the booth. He wasn't threatened with a "trip to the bathroom" at all because of his reaction, and for the next 10 minutes I didn't snuggle so close to him as to give him the illusion of affection... but really it was incognito restraint. That so did not happen.

When it was time to order, I did not skip the waitress past drinks and go straight to entrees hoping that would make food come faster. No, I wasn't in a rush. Not me!

As I sat by my son, I did not make up a game in which he took the germ-infested strap that is attached to the booster, put it up to his mouth, and then I would pull it out playfully, saying, "NO!" I wouldn't allow a game like that because every mom knows that would lead to actual placement of said germ-infested strap in the mouth because a mom can't keep up that game for the entire meal. So yeah, I didn't do that. I didn't do that knowing the outcome. And I certainly didn't regret it about 2 NO's into it, thinking about all the children who had previously sucked on that strap and that it was like my son licking those children's tongues, and who knew where those other children have been?! No. None of that happened.

When our meal came, my heart didn't sink as I saw that on my burger was dreaded mayonnaise and tomato. Upon seeing the defiled bun, I did not realize that I was in such a rush to order that I forgot to ask to have those things left off. And then when the waitress asked if everything was all right, I did not remain mum feeling guilty about that it was my fault for not making the request in the first place. And it wasn't my husband who requested a new bun. Can't I do those things for myself?! Apparently, not me!

While I was waiting for the new bun, I did not give all my fries to my son without thinking to break them up and blow on them to cool them off. He didn't shove a big bite in his mouth and whimper in the pain of each bite. I'm very careful about that... uh, not me?

Finally, as our meal went on, and the fries diminished, my son did not turn to the humorous cardboard coasters for his nutritional benefit. And after telling him that they were "yucky," I did not just ignore that he was taking nibbles off because frankly, he was quiet, and I got a late start on my meal anyway. Not me!

What about you? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is imperfect. In fact, I know I'm not.

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