Finding Everyday Grace

All Hands on Deck!

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:05:00 +0000

To understand where I'm coming from today, I have to share the background of what has been going on with our family. God has been weaving His grace through every fabric of our lives (whoa- Aaron Neville just popped into my head!).

The last few months we have been working on getting Haddon evaluated as he has a speech delay, and some issues understanding directions and certain words or concepts. Of course to get that help, he has had to go through one evaluation after another. We've been interviewed and had to really think about all the things that Haddon can and cannot do. It gets a little overwhelming and seems daunting at times.

He has now spent a little bit in a specialized preschool, where he goes two times a week and is supposed to get two sessions of speech therapy a month. Just a couple days ago, his teacher talked to me about possibly having our son evaluated for autism as she sees some signs and symptoms in him.

I listened to her, and although my head was spinning, I think I was understanding her and able to somewhat communicate effectively.

But as I drove away, the tears came down. I was dreading that someone would say the "a-word". Autism. It didn't seem to me that all the symptoms were there. That if he were to be evaluated as having autism that it may be a little early or that we would be jumping the gun a bit as he had just started in the school, and the teacher barely knows her.

Yesterday I processed all day. I was overwhelmed. At times I felt scared. I started to think about what I may have done wrong while I was pregnant with him. Time and time again, the Holy Spirit kept my spirit in check. Fear is merely disbelieve in God and His promises as set forth in His Word.

I thought about a couple months ago when we were at a church. It was the week that the senior pastor's father died, and he was taking the time to share about his father and the legacy that he had left. The pastor spoke of the times when they would have family devotions and prayer, how his father would call out, "Call to Arms!" And all the children would come running to hear their father read God's Word and pray.

That's what I needed to do yesterday. I e-mailed the ladies in my small group Bible study. I wrote to a dear friend in Colorado. I asked my mother-law to pray. I was calling the troops to arms.

When bad weather comes upon a ship, the Captain often orders for, "All Hands on Deck!" All the workmen of the ship will rush to the aid of the wave battered boat to assist in keep it afloat.

God called for His hands to be on deck for me. It was no mere coincidence that I got a note from a fellow member of my Bible study- a mother with a child with autism. It isn't chance that Haddon's speech therapist from Colorado wrote to me asking me how he was doing that very day- even though we had not heard from her in a year!

Yes, it's true. When the Captain, sees a storm brewing, He knows and provides that call for the battered ship. He moves. He calls. He prompts. "All hands on deck!"

Getting It

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:02:00 +0000

This is a conversation that I had with Norah last night after having a less-than-perfect good night experience.

Norah: "Good night mom."
Me: "Good night, Norah."
(Hug)
Norah: "Mom, I'm sorry I threw a fit."
Me: "I'm sorry I got angry."
(Another hug, and then a pause while Norah is thinking.)
Norah: "I guess we both sinned, huh?"
Me: "Yeah, we did."

She's getting it.

Not Me! Monday!: The Misadventures of an Unadventurous Me

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:46:00 +0000

Ah, it's that time of the week again, and welcome to another Not Me! Monday! a carnival blog created by MckMama. Will you not join her and her other readers as we laugh at ourselves and our imperfections? Just visit her blog, and read away.

As I think back on this last week, I can't help but remember last Monday when I brilliantly came up with the idea to take the kids to feed some ducks. I had a plan. I had a gallon-size Ziplock bag full of breading, and a box of stale Wheat Thins. The kids were excited. I was looking forward to it too.... and then we got there...

A lovely pond tucked away behind a Super Walmart is the setting for this tale. We got out of the van and started walking towards a smaller group of ducks. A couple red-billed geese were in the group, and they certainly weren't walking towards us before we even whipped out the gallon-size! It was then I knew.... this was going to be interesting.

As I threw pieces of bread into the air, geese did not start scolding me for not feeding them faster. A larger group of geese did not fly over from the other side of the water to partake in the festivities. The geese were not the size of Haddon, and they certainly did not pop our personal space bubbles. Norah didn't retreat away from the flocks, throwing bread at them in fear, and Haddon didn't get overwhelmed by the size, number and closeness of the water fowl surrounding him. I'm very brave and keep things together, so it certainly wasn't me who panicked, chucked the bag of bread at the geese, scooped up Norah, and ran for the van... no, that wouldn't be something I would do. I'm much more even keeled than that!

In doing something like that, I would have been leaving my son behind in the middle of a group of geese and ducks, and my keys as well. Good thing I didn't do that! So, I certainly didn't run back, braving the hungry birds, and get Haddon only to forget my keys again in the grass.

We most assuredly didn't end up feeding the birds from inside the van.

A nice couple trying to enjoy their lunch weren't watching us instead- and trying not to laugh.

Don't worry. That wasn't my only encounter with nature this week. A grasshopper did not make its way into my son's room, and scare me. No, I was not scared of a silly grasshopper. I did not jump when it jumped, and I was not creeped out by simply scooping it up and putting it outside. Seriously. I'm not that much of a pansy!

Furthermore, I did not show how ditsy I am when I was checking a very sweet voicemail from someone. They were telling me a story, and it was not so real to me that I did not start talking back. I didn't sit there through most of the message, "um-hum-ing" and saying, "yeah"... because it was a recording. The person wasn't really talking to me. I would have no reason to talk back to someone who wasn't there right? RIGHT?!

There you have it. See how easy it is? I really didn't do those things, so there is no need for me to feel embarrassed.

Grace to Rise Above Molech

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:05:00 +0000

The spirit of Molech is at work among us even now.

Even as you read this... there are bones of babies being ground to unrecognizable bits,

perhaps even a few short miles from where you're sitting.

These are babies lying in garbage receptacles, waiting to be taken away as "medical waste." These infants won't have names until Jesus calls them out for the first time...

Aborted babies can't say, "Abba." But the Father hears their cries anyway. Do we?

There was more said in this paragraph, but when I read this, the tears came. Molech was a god in the Old Testament that nations would sacrifice children to. The nation of Israel was instructed specifically to not offer their children to Molech.

We pray that we will be able to adopt soon. We pray that we will be blessed with the opportunity to prevent one child from being torn from this world through the choice of abortion... by being sacrificed for the sake of self, offered to a modern-day Molech.

By God's grace, I hope that just reading this one paragraph quoted above, someone might consider reading the whole book. And maybe by reading the whole book, sees the importance of adoption in the life of Christians.

(Excerpt from "Adopted for Life" by Russell D. Moore, emphasis added)

Not Me! Monday!: Of Dishes, Laundry and Batteries

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:40:00 +0000

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! a blog carnival created by MckMama. This is a chance to be humble, laugh at the silly things that we do, and live to tell about it! You can visit MckMama's blog to see what others are not doing this week... and maybe you'll be inspired to join the fun!

One thing that people will be pleased to know about me is how meticulous I am with keeping my sink free of dirty dishes. I mean, that's very important, right? For instance, this last week when I made a pork roast, I certainly did not leave the crockpot in the sink overnight. No. I wouldn't do that because that would be gross- especially when the next morning you find that everything left in the crockpot would be solid fat and grease with chunks of pork something-rather in it. Not me!

Also, I keep track of when I run the dishwasher. In the past couple weeks, I would never have to really think hard about whether I ran the dishwasher or not. Not me! Furthermore, my husband would never have to ask if the dishwasher was clean or dirty because when I do run the it I immediately empty it, right? RIGHT?!

Yes, I keep a close watch over the affairs in the house. That is why laundry did not sit unfolded for approximately 3 days, and my son did not chew on AA batteries so many times that the label started coming off. My son also didn't unroll a practically brand new roll of toilet paper, and the laundry hamper is not just about overflowing again. No way. Not me!

God Our Provider

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:34:00 +0000

Some puzzle pieces were put together last night as I drove home from an evening out by myself. You see, I found a job. No, God found a job, but I'll explain.

I had to fill out paper work- which, as it turns out, is all digital- at my new place of employment. When I was done, I asked one of the managers how some interviews went, since they will be hiring 2 or possibly 3 more people as retailers anticipate the Christmas season. She told me that they went well, and then we discussed how many applications came in- a flood! She told me how hard it is to go through them all, and really, unless one of them stands out a lot and they put it aside, it's easy for a good applicant to get lost in the shuffle.

As I drove home, it hit me. It really was God's grace that provided a part-time job so quickly. Months ago I was in the very store where I just got hired, and ran into the general manager. The general manager just happened to be a former boss from way back before I was even married. We caught up a little bit, and I was on my way. I hardly thought about that chance encounter again.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I decided that it was time for me to look at part-time work to help in this rough financial time for us. We put it off as long as we could, as our goal is to have me at home with the children (a goal we still have, and look forward to that again), but for now, while he is finishing school, and has yet to secure a better-paying job (not for lack of trying- his persistance is such a blessing to me!), I will be needed to pitch in. I am happy to do so.

I got right to work thinking where to apply. I filled out one online application, and knew immediately that this was going to be a rough process! Then I was struck by a thought, "Hey! I wonder if they are hiring at The Children's Place?" That is where I knew the general manager.

To make a long story short, I called the manager, asked if they were hiring. She told me that they were, and that I should come on down. About 12 days later, she called me offering me a job with no interview or anything. I will be starting next week.

So I just happened to run into the right person. I just happened to think of her in a time when my family needs me to help. She just happened to be hiring in the coming days. The job just happens to offer just the right hours, and be with, what appears to be, a great staff. It just happens to be a job that I am very good at and generally enjoy (retail, customer service, etc.)

And in an economic time when it can take weeks and weeks to even secure a part-time job because of the sheer number of applicants at any given position, I just happen to know the right person at the right time who was willing to hire me on the spot?

I don't think those things just happen. I think that is evidence of God's provision.

Thank you Lord for providing swiftly and abundantly for our family.

All our needs are met, and you give us so many wants. As you reveal different parts of the glorious tapestry you are weaving, may you recieve all glory. Forever and ever!

Norah

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:20:00 +0000

It has been a difficult time this past month. Being Norah's mother hasn't been easy. My head has been spinning as she throws curve ball after curve ball in behavior. I'm not sure what's behind it, whether it's simple sin and pushing limits, or if she's feeling insecure or unsettled in any way. It's hard to know.

The challenge in all this, beyond simply dealing with each disciplinary action needed, is to keep a proper perspective. It is so easy for the devil to speak discouragement at times like these. Doubt and insecurity about my own parenting creep in. Is she going to turn out alright? Am I presenting the Gospel clearly enough? Will she repent and turn to Christ? When? What if she doesn't? What will we do if she doesn't get things together and get this behavior under control? What will family and friends think? Are we really doing this badly?

But that's not what God says. God has promised that I am sealed with the Holy Spirit. God has promised that His word will give me all I need pertaining to life and godliness. He has promised that trials will bring about perseverance and faithfulness. He has promised that He will be glorified in all things.

So, if God is going to be glorified, and if my desire is to glorify Him in all I do, then it will happen. I may stumble and struggle through this time of testing, but so help me, I will glorify God as His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

As to how I think of Norah, that is another battle. When children push buttons or repeatedly disobey, it is easy to label them as bad or think poorly of them. I won't let that happen.

Norah is such a bright and intelligent little girl. I look forward to helping her mind expand and grow in new ways. I look forward to seeing her understand new things and use that intelligence to figure out problems and discern what is right and wrong as she gains wisdom. She is tender-hearted. Norah watches out for those that are littler than her. You should see how she dotes over babies and toddlers younger than her. It is a joy to have her younger cousins around, as Norah watches out for them. Just the other night, I knew as a four-year-old, that she would do her best to watch her one-year-old cousin as he was in her bedroom. "Watch that he doesn't put anything small in his mouth." She did. Of course adults checked on him and the rest of the kids, but it was a proud moment for me to know that she would do her best to watch out for the little guy.

Norah is full of energy, and makes us laugh. Even in the womb, she rolled around, pushed, kicked, stretched. And when she entered the world, she kept going! Norah will talk and play and move from activity to activity. Though this is, well, exhausting, at times, she is a blessing to see with the spark for life that she has. Norah loved crafts, and coloring and singing and making music- none of which produces something that anyone would say is lovely, but to me, it is sweet- though often LOUD!

So I will keep these things in mind when I am tempted to be dismayed over my daughter's behavior. I will remember that she was created excellently by her Maker, and endowed with a personality and gifts all her own. May God give me the grace to help direct those things for His glory. And may the Holy Spirit draw my daughter into relationship with Christ- because all the sweetness of who she is won't matter if it's not lived for Him.

A New Gig

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:36:00 +0000

It seems that lately my thoughts are like a tumbling tumbleweed or something. Things keep rolling around and around! One thing that is on my mind is facing returning to work again after being at home with my children for over four years. This isn't something that I enter into lightly, and truth be known, I would prefer to continue at home with my children, but it is needed for a time that I pitch in to care for our family. We've put it off for as long as we could and reduced things as much as possible, but I will need to find something part-time in the evenings.

As I apply to different jobs, I find myself feeling so daunted by all the process. I've been out of it for so long! In fact, I have not had a job interview since 2003!

It's also surreal because while moms are taking their children to school and rejoicing in their "freedom", I find myself feeling the opposite. Yeah, I'm getting out of the home, but I don't want to. I want to be home all that time. My husband wants me to be home all the time. It is a privilege to be at home with children, and though it's the toughest gig you'll ever have, NO ONE can do it better than your children's mother- you.

So, I will be faithful to search for a job that will be a minimal disruption to my mothering, and I will pray that I will be able to get back home soon. And I will pray that I am able to find something soon.

Either way, though, I know that God will provide.

I'd Rather Be a Freak

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:46:00 +0000

I recently read a post on another family's blog. It resonated with me. This particular family had spent some time in Mexico, working as missionaries, and now they are back in their own hometown. The husband and father of this family wrote about how different they were upon coming back. He found himself biting his tongue more. He thought so much differently than those he had left behind. It was all sort of strange to him.

We have been away from our hometown on two separate occasions. While we were gone, a lot was learned and so much changed for my husband and myself. We studied, read books, talked and had experiences that I don't wish on any, but lessons that I wish on all. While we were gone, life continued in Salem, Oregon. Most stayed the same, but still some things changed.

Mostly folks just kept going on the course they were going on, a few twists and turns here and there, but steadily along they all went.

We zigged, and zagged; we darted one way and then another, climbed mountains and hit deep valleys.

We came back both times looking the same, but we're really not- with firmer convictions and things so deep and we cannot even express the impact on our hearts. If we try to express it, many just don't get it- either we can't express it well enough, or well, you just had to be there.

Sometimes we come across dear ones that have been in full-time ministry, and sometimes get moments of camaraderie. But for the most part, we're on our own. It's not that we aren't supported or encouraged or that no one wants to understand where we're coming from. I just wonder if it's confusing for folks because we look the same, but we're not who we were. We're just different now. We think very differently now.

To those who knew us for years, we must seem quite freakish.

At times that feeling brings a little bit of loneliness, if I'm being honest (and I prefer to be so, as that is what is God-honoring).

I wouldn't have it all taken away though. I would rather be a freak among friends and family, having gone through the trials of the last 6 years or so (really, who's counting?!), then to go back to who I was when I first loaded the car to head to California on a wintry January day.

Nah. I'd rather be a freak, definitely a freak.

Not Me My Child! Monday!

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:59:00 +0000

It's a Not Me! Monday with a twist. The Not Me! blog carnival was invented by MckMama. Click on over to her blog and see what others are not doing... or what other children are not doing!

Anyhow, as a mom of two there have been some wonderful moments full of laughter and fun, and there have been those other times... I will tell you. We're certainly not in one of those other times now. Oh no.

Since returning from vacation our children have completely adjusted perfectly to the routine of being home. Never, ever would we have a night when both children would get out of bed several times, not caring what the consequence was, but outright defying what they have been trained not to do... not my children!

Oh, and for our oldest, a pattern of bad behavior around bedtime would never continue for more than one night. Not my child!

No, it would not continue. It would certainly not go on for 3 nights... uh, or 5 nights.... or 7 nights.... most certainly not 9 nights of disobedience! Such stubbornness would never be in my child's heart. No, no, no! Not my child!

She most certainly isn't on her second day without certain privileges like, t.v, sweets, or games(because the anty hasn't had to be raised up and up). Nope. Remember, she hasn't behaved badly every night for the last nine nights since being home from vacation, right? Not my child!

So yeah, thank goodness, that we have had such smooth bedtimes because it might be a little discouraging if it were different.

I Had a Dream

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:57:00 +0000

Yesterday, I was dancing in the kitchen with my son, laughing and enjoying a good ol' snuggle. I was reminded of an experience I had in college.

I went to a local community college, and earned my 2-year associate degree- partly because I didn't know what I wanted to get a 4-year degree in, and partly for financial reasons. But whatever the reason for me being there, as an 18-year-old, I knew what a really wanted to be was a wife and mother. That didn't require a degree.

As I sat in Psych 101, the teacher went through the class asking what each student's educational goal was.

Uh. I didn't really have one- not that I devalued a good education, but really, my goal was not a career per se.

So when he came to me, I answered, "Well, I'm not sure what I want to pursue professionally, but what I really want to do is be a stay-at-home wife and mother."

His brow furrowed, and his expressive brown eyes pierced right into me, and so help me, every pair of eyes was on me too. For a moment, you would think that I had said that I wanted to run a Nazi concentration camp or something!

"Why would you sell yourself short like that?" he asked me.

I told him that I wasn't.

I was then ignored, and the class went on.

There are many thoughts that I could go into based off of this life experience, but something that stands out the most is simply that while I dance in the kitchen holding my 3-year-old son, I am living the life that I wanted.

I am married to a wonderful husband, who loves me and the Lord. He has given me two children to enjoy and invest in.

Whatever anyone's view is on staying home or "just being" a mom is, I don't really care. Because of God's grace, I am able to live a dream and hope that I had. With all the tears and triumphs, diapers and kisses, laughs and messes, I have the best career in the whole world.

Praying More for Stellan

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 05:09:00 +0000

Baby Stellan is in the hospital again, and so his family needs to be lifted in prayer once again.

His heart has thrown curveball after curveball at doctors, and he continues to baffle medical minds.

But the Great Physician knows all that He is doing, and He will do what is for His greatest glory.

Join me in praying for Stellan this week, as God reveals His glory in the life of him and his family.

For updates on Stellan's condition visit his mommy's blog.

Like He Made the Sea

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 01:04:00 +0000

On the way home from Walmart today, I popped in Norah and Haddon's favorite children's cd. The first few songs played, and then it came to "God Made Me." Norah had been singing along off and on, but when this one came on, I could hear that she was singing every word. The chorus goes like this:

"God made me, like He made the sea. He filled it up with green and blue.

He sent His son, His only One, to fill me up and make me new."

I don't know what it was exactly. Maybe it was the combination of what my daughter was proclaiming, or the sweetness of her little voice, but whatever it was, the tears came to my eyes. I started praying that those words would not just be words to a favorite kids' song, but that she would hold that in her heart: That she was created by the Most High, and that Jesus Christ, His one and only Son, has given her life by His grace through faith. I prayed that both of my children would bring glory to God and do the good works that He has for them to do.

I felt the weight of the responsibility of the proclamation of the Gospel to my children, and was so thankful that God is sovereign to draw His people unto Himself.

Not Alone

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:51:00 +0000

I just finished the first week of two in which my husband will be gone. He's at school at the Masters College working towards a masters in biblical studies. This is his third year in the program, and he's half way done- I think...

Anyway, I have been very blessed to have been busy. The first week went quickly, and it hardly seemed that long. Now there are only five days left, and I'm hoping that they can go as fast and the first leg of this separation. God has graced me in this week with friends and family and activities, and have made me feel so loved and supported. I am so very thankful for that.

I guess that's really all. It's as simple as that. During a time that could have been very trying and difficult being alone and feeling lonely, I have felt rejuvenated and encouraged by the relationships that I have and ones that are growing.

God is good. He is good all the time.

Unerring Wisdom

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:18:00 +0000

Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition. Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there.

You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances.

Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good.

- Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I discovered this little treasure of a snippet from dear Spurgeon this past week. I have been mulling over it since, and have been so thankful for the truth of this statement. Scripture after scripture comes to mind as I think about this quote and break it down in thought.

The promises of God to protect us, to work all things for the good of those who are called, and the sweet umbrella of God's perfect love in all circumstances come to mind, and keep it occupied.

The truth of the phrase, "unerring wisdom"- God never makes mistakes, no matter what we think in our wisdom. His thoughts are higher than ours, and he is the perfect source of truth and wisdom.

I just had to share these things, letting anyone who may read this chew on them for a while. You will be blessed.

Not Me! Monday: A Restaurant Tale

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:30:00 +0000

Welcome to another installment of Not Me! Monday where I admit the shortcomings in my life and live to tell about it for the laughter of others. This carnival blog was started by MckMama, and you can visit her blog to see what others aren't doing.

Yesterday was Father's Day, and what better way to celebrate dad than not having to cook for him?! So out we went, to Red Robin to be exact, and there the following did not happen.

Thinking it most prudent to strap our youngest down, we requested a booster seat, and he certainly didn't howl very loudly at the idea upon being seated in the booth. He wasn't threatened with a "trip to the bathroom" at all because of his reaction, and for the next 10 minutes I didn't snuggle so close to him as to give him the illusion of affection... but really it was incognito restraint. That so did not happen.

When it was time to order, I did not skip the waitress past drinks and go straight to entrees hoping that would make food come faster. No, I wasn't in a rush. Not me!

As I sat by my son, I did not make up a game in which he took the germ-infested strap that is attached to the booster, put it up to his mouth, and then I would pull it out playfully, saying, "NO!" I wouldn't allow a game like that because every mom knows that would lead to actual placement of said germ-infested strap in the mouth because a mom can't keep up that game for the entire meal. So yeah, I didn't do that. I didn't do that knowing the outcome. And I certainly didn't regret it about 2 NO's into it, thinking about all the children who had previously sucked on that strap and that it was like my son licking those children's tongues, and who knew where those other children have been?! No. None of that happened.

When our meal came, my heart didn't sink as I saw that on my burger was dreaded mayonnaise and tomato. Upon seeing the defiled bun, I did not realize that I was in such a rush to order that I forgot to ask to have those things left off. And then when the waitress asked if everything was all right, I did not remain mum feeling guilty about that it was my fault for not making the request in the first place. And it wasn't my husband who requested a new bun. Can't I do those things for myself?! Apparently, not me!

While I was waiting for the new bun, I did not give all my fries to my son without thinking to break them up and blow on them to cool them off. He didn't shove a big bite in his mouth and whimper in the pain of each bite. I'm very careful about that... uh, not me?

Finally, as our meal went on, and the fries diminished, my son did not turn to the humorous cardboard coasters for his nutritional benefit. And after telling him that they were "yucky," I did not just ignore that he was taking nibbles off because frankly, he was quiet, and I got a late start on my meal anyway. Not me!

What about you? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is imperfect. In fact, I know I'm not.

The Kids' Daddy

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 19:16:00 +0000

Today I am thankful for God's provision in allowing me to have a husband who loves and serves Jesus, honors His word, and leads our family accordingly. He disciplines our children with love, instructs them with the wisdom God provides, and diligently watches over them.

Many men can be fathers. But fewer men choose to be dads. Casey Lute chooses to be daddy to the children he has been given and takes that responsibility to heart.

He is strong, discerning, and gracious.

I am humbled by the grace that is poured out on our family through the work of the Lord in the life of my husband.

A Lot of Thinking

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:47:00 +0000

There haven't been many posts as of late, but that doesn't mean that I haven't seen God's grace daily or His provision in my life and the life of my family and friends. I have!

I have also been learning and thinking about many things. I probably could have written many a post about it all. And believe me- I have done plenty of things worthy of a Not Me! Monday post!

There are just stuff rolling around in my head, and when I am able to put them into words, then it will come out in blog form for the two people who read this! I have also been a bit preoccupied with the whole full-time, stay-at-home-mom, mother-of-two-young-children thing.

So until that time comes when I have sorted through all the junk rolling around in this empty cavern called my thick skull, it will be typed out and posted magically on the Internet for folks to peruse to their hearts' content.

Renewed Sparkle

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:05:00 +0000

One of my favorite possessions is a gift I got from my husband, and I wear it every day. Of course there are the occasional mishaps like when I take it off to put lotion on my hands and forget to put it back on, or when my fingers were a little swollen when I was pregnant with Norah, but on the whole, I wear my wedding ring every day.

Recently, I noticed that the prongs were crooked on the main diamond, and so I had been wearing my "fake ring" that I bought from Gottschalks when I was pregnant with Norah. At the time, I purchased it because I had quite the baby face, and I didn't want to walk around pregnant without a wedding ring on!

My real wedding ring was sitting in my jewelry box awaiting for me to take it to get fixed. Well, it was fixed this week.

Yesterday I walked in to Fred Meyer Jewelers, and got my ring back. As I looked at it, I commented to the gal behind the desk how much it sparkled. Rings are always extra shiny after getting them cleaned or inspected at the jewelers!

I was actually distracted by how much it shined on the drive over to meet my mother. Little specks of light shone all over the inside of our van as the May sunshine hit the facets of the diamonds.

It's funny though. When I first began wearing my ring as a single engagement ring, and then as a set, it was so sparkly at first. After time, it has been on my hands as I have washing dishes, taken many showers, changed diapers, vacuumed, dusted, played, and weeded. Of course it has been cleaned to a sparkly shine many times, but I guess what's different about this time is that I was without it for so long. It was kind of dull when I took it in to be repaired, even though I didn't notice it.

I think we're that way sometimes. We get into the daily grind of chores, errands, and the business of each day, that sometimes we don't notice how dull we have become. Maybe time with the Lord slips, or praying throughout the day doesn't happen. Then the Spirit moves. We open up that Bible or seek God's face in prayer.

And the greatest thing happens. We're cleaned up. We're renewed. We're opened up to the instruction of the Word.

Sometimes it takes us seeing that we need fixing. All we have to do is look. We didn't notice before because we were too busy to look. Sometimes we don't want to look because if we did, we would indeed notice that there are areas where we need work.

You know what though? If we allow the Lord to fix the problem, then we'll see that one the other side is something so much better than what we knew before just like my ring that had dulled from the business of life. How long the prong was bent, I will never know. What matters is that I saw it and it was fixed. Now there's a renewed sparkle.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you

will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Philippians 1:6

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

Not Me! Monday: Of Humility and Stuff

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:02:00 +0000

Welcome to yet another Not Me! Monday, a blog carnival created by MckMama, where we can laugh at our mistakes and at those of many others. It's a lesson in therapy and humility all in one. So, sit back, relax, and have a laugh at my expense- really, it's okay! So many are doing this. Just go over to MckMama's blog and see what everyone else isn't doing!

Here we go!

I certainly didn't need to use the bathroom so badly this week that I nearly forgot to disrobe all necessary garments before doing what Nature was calling me to do! No, I certainly wouldn't be in such a predicament because I was too busy cleaning the house or meeting the needs of my children- who, by the way, have forever altered my ability to hold it. Nope, not me!

I don't take a little bit of pride in remembering people's birthdays, so when I remembered that this week was the 13th, I surely didn't make a mental note to be sure and wish a certain friend a happy birthday on their Facebook. After posting, said note, I wouldn't delete it promptly after realizing that his birthday is next month on the 13th and hope to gloss over this little faux pas as if it never happened and that the recipient of the accidental birthday greeting would be blissfully ignorant. Not me!

Upon finishing perusing last week's Not Me Mondays, on Wednesday, I didn't have to stop Norah from holding down the toilet knob and stop the gushing water that she was wasting in doing so. And upon walking away from stopping this wasteful action, I did not step on a piece of peanut butter toast and got it stuck to my foot. That couldn't happen because I wasn't in the kitchen, but in the hall. (Besides, that wouldn't happen in the kitchen either... right?) And I would never miss that a stray piece of toast made its way into the hall. Seriously, not me!

Oh, and I positively did not take my husband's glass of water in my hand, bring it to my mouth, smell the scent of the lemon he added to it, and still think that it was my water only to have him say, "That's mine." Uh, yeah. Not me!

Because I don't love certain t.v. shows and have such better things to do with my time, I really, really don't care to check on nbc.com to see the deleted scenes from the most recent episode of The Office on Friday, practically every Friday. That would be silly. Nope, that's not me!

Finally, I should make sure that you know, I haven't been working on this off and on this past week to make sure that I remember my stupid stunts. Really, I'm just this on top of things on a Monday morning. Really.

Since I Was a Crusader

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Sun, 17 May 2009 09:15:00 +0000

Tonight was my 10-year high school reunion, and I just can't sleep. My mind keeps thinking of questions I had for different people, like what their siblings are up to or things like that. There are a few folks that I didn't get the chance to speak to much, and that's too bad.

I am also awake because it is quite warm and uncomfortable in our home. That always makes sleeping hard.

So, with these two reasons keeping me awake, I figured I might as well do something, and in doing something, I just got lost looking at old photos.

Now, put together having a nostalgic night with old photos of my children, and what you get is a full heart.

I am so very grateful for the things that have happened in the 10 years since I was a Salem Academy Crusader. I met the greatest love of my life, and married him (who, by the way, was the most handsome husband at the reunion-thankyouverymuch!). I became a mother to two of the most beautiful children, and I have had the honor of serving my family at home and in two churches that God led us to.

I am grateful for every heartache and trial, for God has woven them into a tapestry of joy.

So, tonight's events have left me thankful, thankful for what He has done since I was a Crusader.

Platforms, Pageants, and Purity

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Thu, 14 May 2009 15:25:00 +0000

Upon reading this, I couldn't help but think about the recent celebrity of Miss California. I'm not sure if I have seen evangelicals run to the support of someone so quickly... well, at least in the recent past.

After saying that it is nice for folks to have a choice in whom they marry in this country, but sharing her personal opinion on same-sex marriage, the evangelical applause was overwhelming. So many were so quick, though, to rally around this young woman for her opinion that marriage should be between a man and woman only.

I'm wondering if some Christians have lost a little perspective. Here is a participant in a ~~scholarship program~~beauty pageant, and despite the poor message this sends to younger girls and the world about what true feminine beauty is, we praise it? Besides that, there was no look into her person. Within hours of her statements, racy photos were released, and I'm thinking to myself, "Is this who I want to point out to my daughter as someone that she should be like?!"

And I'll say very quickly that I don't. I'm grateful for Carolyn McCulley's post today reminding men that they have the opportunity to praise women- but not for their beauty on the outside, but what's on the inside. How hard is it to raise our little girls to believe that it's what is on the inside that counts, when we're bombarded with ideal images of women?! It is hard to reconcile in your mind that what's inside holds higher value when we are complimented on beauty more than the purity and substance of our character.

I know that personally, the most precious compliments to me are not the ones where my husband has complimented me on what's on the outside (though welcomed and appreciated). What really stands out to me is if my character is noticed. If that is seen then I have reached far greater riches than looking nice. For my person is glorifying God.

I have a different view on what would be more valuable of Miss Prejean's time and energy, but it's her choice. And I pray that when the lights and publicity fade, and she is left with just who she is before no one else but the Lord, that she can be proud of who she is, not by her own standards, but those of her Creator. Based on the information before me, though, I will not put her on any platform for myself or my daughter to follow. Posing topless and entering beauty pageants are not goals I have for my daughter, no matter how conservative her views on marriage are, and those things are not good for marriage either (Seriously, do we need any more temptations for wandering eyes, and unrealistic views of feminine beauty and sex appeal?). This doesn't exemplify the Biblical femininity that we as believers should embrace and uphold.

Instead, I will strive to put forth the standards of God's word. And I will endeaver to put those at the forefront of my mind for myself as well.

God is glorified...

...when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:2-4

Rim Rock Annie's Quilt

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Wed, 06 May 2009 15:44:00 +0000

This weekend we had the privilege of meeting several saints at a local church in Bremerton, WA. But there is one saint that we were unable to meet, for she went to be with the Lord a week ago today. The folks we met had heavy hearts, filled with hope over the loss of their dear Annie.

One gentleman handed my husband and I a copy of an autobiography by this departed friend, and we gladly accepted it. It was a short book; a very quick read, but on the pages revealed the life's story of a woman who faced difficult challenges and learned many valuable lessons along her life's journey. Never have I read in such detail some of the personal hardships members of the "Greatest Generation" faced during the Great Depression, and it was a blessing to see the grace of God on her life to overcome the temptations she must have felt to be bitter or angry, allowing those emotions to overwhelm her life and take her captive.

Mrs. Carriere writes, The kaleidoscope of patterns that the Lord has built into the beautiful quilt blocks of my life are according to His plans. The knots He uses are tight, and make a "Comforting Quilt" of my life for others.

That is a beautiful testimony! I am thankful that I was able to read about this lovely person, who I could tell had touched the lives of so many. I look forward to meeting her in glory, as I was a week too late here in time.

Not Me! Monday: The General Mishaps as of Late

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:50:00 +0000

Welcome to Not Me! Monday, a fun blog carnival created by MckMama. Head over to her blog and see what others "aren't" doing this week!

Well, since it's been so long since we have had this fun business as usual, you would think that my mind would be full of mishaps... but I'm quite blank today.

In fact, I really haven't been thinking off and on since last night about what in the world I have done that could possibly be silly or funny. That in itself would be ridiculous as I have better things to do with my time and mind. Yeah, not me!

As we prepared for this weekend's trip us to Bremerton, Washington for my husband to fill the pulpit and candidate, I certainly didn't fret over what to wear to church. No. I wouldn't do that. I wasn't concerned about my age, and the idea of being a possible senior pastor's wife at 28. I wasn't concerned at all about what I should wear and if I would offend anyone by simply not wearing pantyhose. Not me!

And of course when we took off on Saturday morning to hit the road, I certainly didn't leave my house at any way in disarray. Not, it was spotless. My son didn't pull out several DVD's, yank out the sleeve cover thingies, and leave them on the floor. I didn't leave a dish soaking. And I certainly wouldn't look over our beds being left unmade. Nope. Not me!

As we dropped our children off at my mother's home, I didn't feel bad at all about leaving them. Especially since they didn't stand pathetically outside the garage waving good-bye to mom and dad. No, not me! I have a heart of stone.... uh...

I didn't eat only mashed potatoes and gravy from Church's Chicken because I felt to car sick. No. That wouldn't be the best healthy food choice. Not me!

Anyway, upon arriving at our hotel in Bremerton, I certainly wasn't car sick still and probably such poor company for my husband, especially since we hardly ever get away alone. No, I always take advantage of those precious times because my feelings never get in the way of having a good time... uh, yeah, not me, really! Because like I said, I wasn't car sick at all!!!

When we saw our room at the hotel, my first thought wasn't, "Goodness! This room is decorated better than my house!" And I certainly didn't take mental notes as tips for home decor. No. Not me!

This morning, when we woke up at home, I certainly wasn't so sleepy that I barely caught my son grabbing a cookie that my mother baked and sent home with us. Knowing that my children spent most of two days with said grandmother probably eating all sorts of sugary and unhealthy foods, I didn't just let Haddon have a cookie as a precursor to breakfast, and certainly not two! Nope. I didn't have one either. Not me!

Whew! That felt good! Join the fun... what did you NOT do this week?

Stellan's Home

KellyLLute@yahoo.com (Kelly Lute) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:16:00 +0000

After a 5-week ordeal of tests, a surgery, up and down emotions, and trusting and praying, baby Stellan woke up at home today, and I am thankful for God's faithfulness to the McKinney family.

Stellan still needs prayers of protection from further SVT, and for healing as he grows. But I thank God for bringing him and his mommy home. The relief must be overwhelming for MckMama.